I’m back!

I’m back in America. I didn’t quite finish my blogging while abroad, but I did have an incredible, life-altering time. Now that I’m back, I’m taking a new direction with my life and starting a new chapter with my blog as well. If studying abroad helped me figure out what I want in life, coming home has made me start to focus on …

How to Get There!!!

(Which is the new theme of my blog, if you didn’t get that)

So what does that mean? I’m a 21 year old college student trying to prepare to enter either 1. graduate school or 2. the real world in the next couple of years. I was talking to my college advisor on Friday and realized that I’m petitioning to graduate in December. Freaky. It’s moving too fast, but now that I have some direction, the journey seems fresh and exciting even though the undergrad chapter of my life is beginning its end.

London was an oyster that I still want to crack open even more, so I’ve decided to try to pursue graduate studies there after Northwestern. Right now the programs I’m looking at are for Social and Public Communications at LSE and International Marketing at King’s College London. In order to get there, I’m going to need some serious internship and/or job experience, good grades, and new references.

Aside from that, I’m starting to live more and more on my own. I no longer live in student residences, no longer use my Little Rock address as my home one, and now live in a real house with rent and utilities and roommates. That means aside from growing towards my profession and future studies, I also have to start playing house, cooking, and cleaning. It’s a time for me to start living a healthier lifestyle, worrying about my image, cementing my college relationships, and preparing my body mentally and physically for the rest of my life.

Bring it on.

 

Let’s go to the beach – beach

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Reading Week 2012 – Barcelona, Berlin, Rome, and Florence

Part 1. Barcelona

Sophia and I arrived in Barcelona Saturday afternoon and spent a good bit trying to find our hostel that happened to have no signs and be above a fruit store. After settling in, we went to the main area of town, where we immediately met up with Hana, Claire, Molly, and Danny, our traveling companions. We managed to find a restaurant that actual Spanish people were eating at, and Sophia and I got a large paella, two main dishes, two desserts, and a liter of sangria all for 13 euros each – ¡muy bueno! 

We then went to the apartment our friends had rented and chilled out, chatted, and got ready for the night. I had to pee like a racehorse on the train, almost to the point where I would have peed in these little passport photo booths they have everywhere. We found the Obama bar (which is quite nice) and got a few drinks there before wandering aimlessly trying to find a club. At the one place we did find, I had to save Hana from a 60 year old man trying to dance up on her.

That pretty much hits the nail on the head for club life in Barcelona – we couldn’t find it. We spent a couple of nights in the same bar with a nice staff and some alright drink specials, but other than that, we were pretty unsuccessful. We did end up seeing a peep show for 2 euros each – one of the weirdest experiences of my trip.

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The rest of the time in Barcelona, we spent trying to see a lot of the sights. We saw the Sagrada Familia by Gaudi, this incredible cathedral in the middle of the city. We went on the pier, which is basically a tourist trap with expensive stores and restaurants. We wanted to go to the beach (beach) but never ended up making it there, as the weather was too cold and rainy that day. While Hana and Danny took the train, Sophia and I trekked up Montjuic (not knowing it was a mountain…), where we all admired the amazing Castell and a fine view of the city.

The definite highlight of the trip was Park Guell, which is this park designed by Gaudi that looks a lot like a fairy tale land. We watched the sun set over Barcelona with the best view in the city. Overall, I think Barcelona is a city that is made by its beauty and by Gaudi. Our traveling companions made it what some may call a “swell time”. 

Such a fortunate fool

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I’m on my reading week and have so far been to Barcelona, Berlin, just arrived in Rome and will be headed to Florence soon. I’ll do a full breakdown of my time here when I get home, but I’d like to talk about some of the marvelous discoveries I’ve made on my journey.

Sophia and I stumbled (as we often do – as is the best way to discover things while traveling) upon a Christmas market in Berlin. While I indulged in a man-made sledding hill, complete with snow and strobe lights, Sophia heard some girls speaking English and struck up a conversation with them. Sisi from Copenhagen and Chloe from Oxford – two girls au pairing in Berlin.

Four hours later, we’d had drinks together at two bars and talked the night away with politics, culture, and getting to know each other. This morning, we met up again for what was meant to be a quick lunch and ended up being a 3.5 hour conversation about economic and social problems in the world (minus Denmark) among other things, each learning more about each others’ countries and lives. This brilliant connection between strangers in a foreign country happened all because we share a common language and were open enough to talk to strangers in a strange land.

Our world has closed its doors to itself, in a way. Especially in America. Most of us, myself included, have almost no idea how other countries see us, how they work, or that there is no “greatest country in the world” (again except maybe Denmark). We often make assumptions about other people, cultures, and governments and blind ourselves with patriotism and arrogance. We are a nation in a struggle – and we know that. But do we recognize the economic struggles of the rest of the world? We are no better than many other countries, no worse than many more, and we are often too self centered to see that.

Then there are countries like, well, Denmark, which have almost no poverty, schools and universities that pay their students like its a job, free health care, and amazing welfare for those who need it – and no one minds paying extremely high taxes because they don’t need to live in excess like we do. And because of this, they live better off than most Americans. We don’t have the economy for that right now – sure – but one day we could. And yet I know we will throw a fit about helping others or paying high taxes when most of us were just lucky to be born in a position where we could be upwardly mobile.

Taxes help all of us, and don’t we want everyone to be able to thrive? Isn’t that true patriotism? And are there not people in a position to pay high taxes to make our country survive and thrive, taxes that can give all Americans the same opportunities they were lucky enough to have? Do we really want anyone living on the streets or dying of cancer and unable to fight it?

I’m lucky for the experiences I’ve gotten to have. The people I’ve been able to meet and the culture differences have made a vast impact on how I feel about the world and my place in it as an American. I feel somewhat hypocritical saying all of this because I’m only able to say it because I’m one of the lucky few born with enough money to be able to do something like this. I’m able to do this not because I’ve ever done anything incredible or worked extremely hard, but because I have a mom who supports me with whatever I want to do. I have a dad who spent years and years studying his ass off and working and saving lives and still works 50 or more hours a week at 72 years old. A dad who was born to poor, hard working immigrant laborers that encouraged him to work hard and make a life in the “land of opportunity”, America. A dad who pays a high tax bracket and believes in helping out the rest of the world.

I think we as Americans should look back at this, at the work we and our ancestors put into our country. At the fact that we are almost all born to immigrants of our land. That we are all part of a bigger picture, a bigger world that is watching and hearing what we are doing and sees our arrogance and selfishness. It’s something I have been very privileged to be able to see, something hard to understand and honestly unfair and hypocritical for me to mention, but something worth thinking about and improving upon.

Even though it is by no means perfect, and even though I live there not having the same rights as everyone else, I do love America. I always have and always will have, and it’s because of the opportunities there that allow my family and I to live as we do. But in these fragile economic and socially tense times, I think it’s also important to take a step back and realize the world is changing. The world is struggling along with us, and there are solutions to be found by seeing that and looking to some of them as models and partners in this struggle – by working with them and not acting like we are better off than everyone else in the world. We are all in this together.

Hold your own, know your name, and go your own way

Quite a bit has happened since I last updated, so I’ll give a quick rundown:

Saw Wicked with Mollie from Northwestern – always nice to have a familiar face to hang out with, and Wicked was amazing. It was really interesting to hear the whole show in British accents. Sexy.

Liz came to visit from Copenhagen for a few days, which was quite lovely. We started our time off at Borough Market, each getting some vegetarian Indian street food. As an avid foodie, I think Borough Market is my favorite place in London. The free samples of chocolate and vinegars and sausages, the goat’s milk ice cream (which sadly wasn’t there when we visited), and the variety of street food just make my heart, soul, and stomach collide in a joyous celebration of taste.

Liz and I hung around New Cross a bit that night (Sunday). The next morning, we woke up and got Dim Sum in Chinatown (making my daddy proud). We did the touristy free stuff – Big Ben, Westminster Abbey, London Eye, etc. – and then took a wifi pit stop in the Tate Modern, where we were approached by chanting strangers and told interesting life stories. We ate dinner at an Indian restaurant in Soho called Masala Zone that was very nice and then made our way down the street to see Les Miserables. Even though I sat in the furthest corner of the highest balcony, it was a wonderful experience seeing one of my favorite shows on the West End. Sierra Burgess as Fantine, the Javert, and Danielle Hope as Eponine were highlights, as well as their extremely hot Marius (okay I just had to put that out there – I had to have something to make me smile in the nearly three hours of misery).

Liz and I then went to a club called Pacha by ourselves, stone sober and about an hour too early. We realized that we weren’t going to have any fun without drinking massively and acting stupid – ten double vodka red bulls and 25 pictures with random strangers later, we were having the time of our lives. I guarantee no one in that club had as much fun as we did. We even got the DJ to put on “Gangnam Style” for us before we peaced out.

The next day, we went to Camden Market, where I had two of the most delicious macaroons I have ever eaten in my life. We stumbled upon the lock and walked along the water to Regent’s Park, which I swear has been in some movie or at least my dreams. The golden trees lining the long path were something special. From there, we headed back to New Cross so I could go to boring class. We ate Mexican food in Greenwich, which is a place I’d like to explore further.

The following weekend I went to Scotland, which is the most beautiful place in the world. I swear I want to have my honeymoon there. The highlands are incredible, especially in autumn, and even though most of the trip was just driving around in a coach, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Tanya and I met some cool girls, and I got lectured on substance abuse by this girl who went on to tell me that I “don’t dress like a gay person” and that she “didn’t realize that there were different kinds.” Hilarious characters you meet around the world. I’m going to have to upload all my pictures so you can understand how gorgeous Scotland is.

 

Tanya and me at Stirling Castle.

 

 

Tanya and me in the Highlands!

 

Me and Hamish, the Highland cow!!!

I skyped home a lot this week, which was nice. Talked to Jonny, Addi, Harriett, Christa, Laura Ann, and dear old mommy through the course of a few days. Studying abroad isn’t always easy – the hard, shitty, lonely times are just as much a wonderful part of the growing experience as all the drinking, partying, adventuring, and fun. It’s been surprisingly a roller coaster of a time here, but I’m starting to figure out who I am, who I want to be, and who I don’t want to be. Having such good friends at home to be with me, in a sense, on this journey has been really lovely.

Three of my American friends and I went to Shoreditch for Thai food this week as well. I’m absolutely in love with the area and will certainly be eating there again. There were some hip restaurants (yo).

Tomorrow, I head to Barcelona, Berlin, Rome and Florence for the week with my British friend Sophia and some other friends. It’s going to be a crazy good time, if we can manage to catch all of our flights and not end up in Asia or something.

I know it was a wordy post with a lot of information, but I’m sure I’ll have plenty of emotional, life-changing words to say when I get back from holiday. I was pretty homesick this week, but I’m feeling good now. Ready to take on Europe.

All I do is dream of you

Study abroad has given me a lot of time to really reflect on my place in life, caught in between being a child and an adult, trying to live like both. It’s like Britney once said, “I’m not a boy, not yet a man.” Well, she could have said it like that, but she’s a girl… Anyways, no matter what’s going on here, whether I feel lonely or am having the time of my life, I always come back to one thing I know about my life – I’m incredibly lucky.

Back in the days of writing college essays, senior year, I wrote what I thought was a really striking and creative line while applying for a scholarship that I didn’t receive. I called myself a “reckless opportunist.” I don’t think I really understood the limitations of my opportunities back then – I mean hey, I hadn’t even been to college. The longest I’d ever been away from home was three weeks, and it was just one state away. A “reckless opportunist” was something I wanted to be but hadn’t quite achieved. 

Today, at 20, I can say that I’ve now had some pretty incredible opportunities. Going to a diverse, open, and challenging school just 30 minutes outside of Chicago and studying abroad in England the two biggest opportunities I’ve had. And I think I’ve recklessly taken advantage of them, especially this study abroad experience, and soaked up each ounce of time and every moment. And for that, I’m fucking lucky. I’ve gotten to do things I’ve literally dreamed about. Like actually in my sleep. Although it’s been different than I could have imagined and harder than I thought it would be, it’s been a blast.

All this aside, I sometimes feel like because of these opportunities, I’m floating in and out of peoples’ lives, trying to connect fragmented moments with friends with texts and Skype and Facebook. It’s like I’m a collector of friends, a collector of experiences. I have friends all over the world now, which is so eye-opening, but there’s always a fleeting feeling that I know I have to leave them. A feeling I’ve felt for the last three years, leaving home for Northwestern, Northwestern for home, both for England. But every one of these connections I hold dear, and no matter whether or not I ever see some of the most amazing people I’ve ever met again, no matter where they’re from or how long I’ve spent with them, each person adds a little something to me that makes me more and more who I am supposed to be.

And as hard as it is to be here and know that I have to pick up my bags and leave, this is the time for that. I’ve learned from experience that it’s possible to keep up with those that matter to you. For me, it would have been impossible to live the kind of life I’ve been so privileged to live without learning that skill, and without learning that there’s just as much to be found in transience and change as there is in stability. I have the rest of my life to be stable, to settle down. 

So for now, I get to live in a dream. When I was in Amsterdam, it felt like it was my dream away from the reality of England. England is like the dream of my reality of student life at NU, which in turn is like a dream from home in Arkansas, which is a dream from all of these other places when I’m away. And the best part about it is that this dream time, this exquisite time where I can explore myself, the world and its inhabitants, is that it’s strengthening me and teaching me how to live in the approaching reality of adult life. Living in happiness, which I am doing now and always strive to do (sometimes, like everyone, unsuccessfully), makes you realize that it’s always there, waiting for you when you don’t have it and so obviously there when you do. 

I’m happy and I’m lucky. 

Live mighty, live righteously — takin’ it easy

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Amsterdam – Amsterdo – Amsterdon’t

Amsterdam was quite lovely, aside from some cold and rainy weather. It was a lot more chill than I expected, but in a really nice way. It’s an absolutely beautiful city of canals and brick buildings, juxtaposed with plenty of grit.

Amsterdo’s

  1. Stay at the Flying Pig Downtown. I stayed at the uptown one the first night, and it had a really cool environment and was easy to meet people. The uptown one is really far away from everything (except Vondelpark), so I figure the downtown one is the place to stay. If you don’t mind being really far from everything and not being able to meet people, the Stayokay hostel is pretty nice. It was fine considering I was with friends.
  2. Anne Frank House. It’s something the world doesn’t owe us, but we owe the world. It will humble you, make you question humanity, and ultimately help you appreciate human resilience. “One day this terrible war will be over. The time will come when we will be people again and not just Jews. We can never be just Dutch, or just English, or whatever. We will always be Jews as well. But then we will want to be.” -Anne Frank
  3. Vondelpark. I got lost there, alone, on my last day (after having visited a nice coffee shop called Dolphins. It was deliciously beautiful that day, the sun reflecting off the water, fallen trees still rooted and growing towards the horizon, and unusual European playground equipment. It was a nice time to sit and reflect on my experiences so far. I climbed up this weird chamber with a bunch of ropes in it (which was difficult considering I’m not 3 feet tall anymore, although I don’t know how kids reached those ropes…) that ended in a slide. It felt good.
  4. Get on the beer trolley. We met these 30 year old professionals that invited us up on their beer trolley and ended up spending about four hours with them. They bought us slippers, tons of beer, some cake, took a trip to the coffee shop with us, and ultimately showed us a really nice time. Sometimes, you’ve just got to give up your plans and do what feels right, which was getting on the trolley.
  5. Coffee shops. Obviously, there’s some major reasons to go to Amsterdam. Go to a coffee shop, order a drink, eat a space cake, and chill out with your friends. This is what life’s all about – and you may just end up laughing for an hour about twitching eyebrows.
  6. Van Gogh collection. The Van Gogh Museum was closed, but the collection was showing at the Hermitage. I never appreciated Van Gogh until I saw it up close – you can’t see how incredible the brush strokes are in pictures.
  7. Red light district. This is really one of the only places in the world where you can see something like this. I got offered drugs. I got pawed at by scantily clothed women while trying to sign to them that I really wasn’t interested. I saw a 75 year old prostitute. I watched curtains open and young men sneak out glass doors, head bowed down, embarrassed and satisfied.
  8. French fries. Holland’s most notable cuisine is actually french fries covered in mayonnaise. Get one. Get another. Get five on your trip – the rest of the food is overpriced and not particularly special, not to mention not Dutch. Save money on food.
  9. Bike or tram card. The trams are really easy to use, and it was only 16 euro for unlimited travel for three days. We would have rented bikes, but the weather was quite nasty. It’s a really bike friendly city.

More Amsterdam 

  • Heineken Experience. Fun and free beers at the end, but not an absolute must see. If it’s your thing, go!
  • Hash, Marijuana, and Hemp Museum. A little expensive for the two rooms it covered, but interesting nonetheless. I saw an actual live, growing plant, which was kind of crazy to me.
  • Markets. Basically a bunch of knick-knacks and weird things, but worth seeing. They’re free anyways and you can do one in about 20 minutes.

Amsterdon’ts

  1. Don’t shop at the first coffee shop you find. Really look into the prices and explore. I really liked Dolphins, near Leidseplein, and Barney’s, located downtown.
  2. Don’t do a pub crawl, especially when a bunch of fun 30 year olds invited you to a houseboat party. The pubs are really American, and the people that did it were mostly weird.
  3. Don’t lose your tram card. Oops.
  4. Don’t buy a sandwich at the Hermitage. They’re gross.
  5. Try to go when you know the weather will be nice – the city is really beautiful, but it was prettiest when the sun was shining.

Next time I visit I’d like to

  1. Tour the countryside. See a windmill. Go to a clog factory. Go to a cheese factory. See the tulips.
  2. Go out in Leidseplein (don’t bother going out anywhere else unless you know somewhere is going to be a sure hit).
  3. Evening canal tour with wine and cheese.
  4. Go to more coffee shops. Come on – we all know that’s really what this city is all about.

Where the horizon lies

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It’s been a busy week since I last posted – classes have started, I’ve been to my first proper gay club (as in not the shitty Little Rock one), seen one of the seven wonders of the world, and walked down the roads my ancestors once walked on (not China).

So first on the list – classes. I’ve got about 6-7 hours of class a week, depending on how my teachers are feeling. I think there are occasional tutorials that might add time to a few weeks, but it’s a total joke compared to NU. It’s not like I came here to actually do work (sorry mom and dad, but I promise I’m learning and experiencing things that I couldn’t get in any classroom).

My American Theatre History class was literally just listening to Brits stereotype America for an hour based on “American” images (dolla bill sign, the flag, Mall of America?). It was extremely uncomfortable as the American in the room, but nonetheless very interesting. Learning about how the rest of the world sees the States is really eye-opening.

My London Theatre class has us going to theatre in London, mostly avant-garde stuff. I wasn’t a huge fan of the first play, Love and Information by Caryl Churchill, but I’m really excited to see what’s next.

My two Psychology classes, Developmental Psychology and Music Psychology, have some potential, but so far we were just kind of introduced to the subjects.

Second on the list, the G-A-Y Heaven club, is going to go mostly untalked about… jkjk. It was definitely a great experience – there was a volunteer strip show that was really surprising. The people actually got buck naked! Some brave souls – you couldn’t pay me to do that. Mika played there last night, but alas I had to get up at 6:30 in the morning today, so I was not venturing out.

Today I took a trip to Stonehenge and Bath. Although I knew a few people on the tour, I stayed mostly to myself, which was really nice. I felt like they were sights best taken introspectively. Stonehenge was different than I thought it would be, less giant and put together, but it’s definitely something I feel like I needed to see once in my life. It was pretty spectacular to feel like I was in a place I’d seen so many times in history books.

Bath was very beautiful. I didn’t really like the tour of the Roman baths there, but the city itself was wonderful. Although I didn’t feel any magic familiarity with it, there’s something weird knowing that my great-great-great (and so on) grandfather is buried there, and that it’s where my mom’s side of the family is from. Somewhere under the ground are specks of genes that you can find in my own body. Something about that makes me feel somewhat immortal (as long as I don’t lose the evolutionary battle, which may turn out to be a struggle… any volunteers ladies?).

Sorry the post was a bit long, but I’ve been really busy!

Carried Away

It’s hard to believe I’ve only been here for two weeks. I think one thing I was unprepared for was how fast things would move here – how easy it is to get carried away. These last two weeks have been a microcosm of my entire adult life; I got these little morsels of life here and started glutinously devouring them with no regard. I grasp at every opportunity, never say no, and thus have over-aggressively taken on this country and everything it has to offer. Sometimes this makes me feel like I’m actually alive, but other times it makes me feel like I’m harming myself, my soul, my body.

A friend told me that I’d find myself in Europe, and even though I’ve just been here for two weeks, I think I’m actually starting to learn something. I move too fast, which sometimes isn’t always bad, especially being in a new country. I think I have such a grand fear of death that my zest for life gets a little out of control sometimes. I’m under the impression that most of the world spends most of their lives not really living. So I make a point to live – or at least I try to. All that considered, though, living life too fast has major consequences, and it’s good to slow down and check yourself sometimes. I’m pretty sure I’ve made the same life mistakes every time I’ve sped off track like this. Sometimes you gotta step back, relax, and enjoy the ride rather than pedaling so fast the chain breaks.

So England, Europe, World, I’m here for you – I’m here to see you, find you, find myself – and all at whatever mixed cross country running/jogging/walking pace it takes. As fun as it’s been running full speed through these past two weeks, getting carried away by you, it’s time to sloooooow down.

Cool down

Things are finally starting to wind down (I may be saying this a little preemptively – it’s the weekend before class starts), which is nice. Freshers week absolutely put Wildcat Welcome to shame. They really don’t ever stop here.

We went to the “loudest club in England” on Sunday – a definite highlight of my time here. It was absolutely amazing, and I discovered a newfound love for Jager bombs there… It’s also refreshing going to clubs here, because no matter how crazy or wild you get there, they’re not near as gross as dance floors in the states. No one really grinds on each other, which lets everyone have fun as a group. It’s a lot less pressure and a lot less grimy.

I went sightseeing again yesterday with some American friends, which was nice aside from getting hella lost near Hyde Park. We had some delicious times in Burrough Market, which is an absolute must see if you ever make your way to Londontown. We cooled down with a jug of sangria, and I had an early, chill night last night.

It’s nice to finally get some alone time here – as much as I love going out and hanging out with people constantly, sometimes you just gotta sit and stare at the ceiling. I’m going to start planning some European excursions soon, but I’ve realized I’m going to want to stay here for a few weekends too.

I’ve really gotten close to my flat as well, who are like a big international family. We’ve got Americans, a Bulgarian, a Lebanese, a Portuguese, a Norwegian, and some Brits. It’s nice to come home to at the end of the day.