It’s hard to believe I’ve only been here for two weeks. I think one thing I was unprepared for was how fast things would move here – how easy it is to get carried away. These last two weeks have been a microcosm of my entire adult life; I got these little morsels of life here and started glutinously devouring them with no regard. I grasp at every opportunity, never say no, and thus have over-aggressively taken on this country and everything it has to offer. Sometimes this makes me feel like I’m actually alive, but other times it makes me feel like I’m harming myself, my soul, my body.
A friend told me that I’d find myself in Europe, and even though I’ve just been here for two weeks, I think I’m actually starting to learn something. I move too fast, which sometimes isn’t always bad, especially being in a new country. I think I have such a grand fear of death that my zest for life gets a little out of control sometimes. I’m under the impression that most of the world spends most of their lives not really living. So I make a point to live – or at least I try to. All that considered, though, living life too fast has major consequences, and it’s good to slow down and check yourself sometimes. I’m pretty sure I’ve made the same life mistakes every time I’ve sped off track like this. Sometimes you gotta step back, relax, and enjoy the ride rather than pedaling so fast the chain breaks.
So England, Europe, World, I’m here for you – I’m here to see you, find you, find myself – and all at whatever mixed cross country running/jogging/walking pace it takes. As fun as it’s been running full speed through these past two weeks, getting carried away by you, it’s time to sloooooow down.